From someone being told to do something to someone who had to tell someone else to do something was one of the biggest change… and it ain’t purty.
I got to finish 2 projects and I’m still working on the last one that was given to me in the latter part of the year. This one got me big time.
I was barely surviving the one that the client called off for financial reasons, I was recovering from the horrors of the one prior to that and this is endangered with something that history might repeat. I have a lot of hesitations and I have a lot of fears.Banking on to the new role given by the company means you have to live it. It means you have to be it and it means you have to stand for it.
I feel I failed in the first one that I got… the one where I was left by my lead towards the end while the coumterparts do not treat you as an equal but rather a small kid trying to play with the big kids.
I don’t know what pissed me off… The fact that they see me like a kid or the fact that I was not given enough trust. My ego was bruised, my confidence was shaken and my conviction was weakened.
I know I still rant about what happened to my career, but if you were in my place, you think you can help it? I know, it was just business, but they should have at least been men enough to tell me so to my face. They should have informed me properly regarding what was exactly going on and not for me to find out after all stupid reports have been filed and for me to defend myself in a panel where all of the higher ups from both corporate sides were present. Foine! So, I survived! Big Deal!!! But you see… I even dropped by the head office for checks and lessons learned roll out… I would have at least been informed about it then.Things went by as though nothing happened and I am now playing with a new set of big boys for another project in another office. I feel so wary that my fears and insecurities would sometimes show. I don’t want to go through with what I went through with that other head office of which I pray won’t happen again.I know I would be able to let things go, but it would be too difficult. I am in the process of letting almost everything go at this time.
After my little trip to the head office, I headed to Texas for my cousin’s wedding. I was there during the traditional tea ceremony. It was gorgeous! Big bummer… It was a great holiday only for me to find out after the reception that my room practically went under water during Typhoon Frank, well, at least, that was the first blow.
When I arrived from my trip, I was informed of my maternal grandpa’s passing. He has been on his bonus stage for some time, but still, a loss is a loss and I will forever miss him. The big, black Joe of the clan has finally found his rest, may he rest in peace.
My best friend from college got married a few weeks after my grandpa’s burial. I felt strange since I have been planning to attend the wedding for a long time. I was even part of the team who made videos and testimonials for the bride and groom, yet, I didn’t feel I was supposed to really celebrate much because of our family’s loss.
My blog suffered a whole lot. I have been writing on and off since June that I no longer know what to write anymore. Little by little, I am getting back on track and hopefully the muse would find me soon.
No matter how much we sometimes want to have the person, it just couldn’t happen for some strange reason unbeknownst to people who aspire for it.
2008, too was the year when our club turned 40 years old. Goodness!!! It is even older than I am. I was involved in the preparation but I was not there during the event itself…. bummer!As I try to drown the pain as a result of my stupidity, I have made new friends and I am hoping I could build a world where I could grow on my own in the company of other people.
My uncle got tired of having no children of his own that he adopted a cute little baby. She’s my cousin and she’s also my God-daughter.
Today, I learned of another change…. My other cousin is about to get married and I’m gonna be an aunt… this April.
There are situations in one’s life that one has to accept, no matter what the circumstance. There are things that one must choose to let go and suffer the pain in silence. That pain, however, is just temporary and if you managed to keep yourself sane, you become a stronger person.
We are all but passers-by in this cold world. The memories we share with those we choose to are the only things that keep us warm and cozy. Time flies by and stops for no one. When you allow a second to slip, you have already allowed a second of change made without you in it.
It has been very exhausting. but, hurray for 2009… new hope begins.
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Hello, my name is KaeBoo and I am a borderline lolcatanimechadictus.
Alright, so my friend cbrain and I went to a fellow blogger’s birthday bash last Jan 18. We passed by Robinson’s Galleria to pick up two more and a friend of the other one… Theory is, it would be better to get lost together than to be lost alone as none of us have actually been to the house.
On our way, we while looking for landmarks, we passed the first one by a bridge and a corner so we have to make a u-turn to get back on track. The other land mark was located on the “other” right side of the road… It was fun getting there… quite an adventure… After several U-turns, we arrived the venue, just in time.
Some of the host’s friends were already there… discussions started about different animes… Seeing the figure collection that the birthday boy’s waifu has, plus his Mazinger Z collection… it called for talks about mecha… of course, there’s macross… the guys were recommending you watch macross 7 with him in order for one to appreciate it… i should ask the group to schedule that marathon one of these days. Another member of the philaniblogcomm showed her carricatures and they are just so adorable! She recently just published her neo-decultard take on things macross frontier.
After the Macross discussion, there’s the favorite gundam series. Well, I really love the 08th MS Team among all gundam shows I have watched. To quote the host, “08th MS team has a good balance of the story and the fight scenes”… and with this, I agree. Still, if I have to choose which battle suit I would want among all gundam movies and series, I would choose the Wing Zero Custom because of the fish-like characteristic of its wings in contrast to its avian appearance.
Pizza arrived then somebody asked… have you guys watched Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog? There were glances followed by an almost unison “no”.
Let’s just put it this way… after watching the 45-minute movie of 3-fifteen minute episodes, it has automatically become the top on my pimp the show list.
I want that shiny!!!
The storyline is pretty shallow… A typical mad scientis trying to get into the organization of evil-doers. Dang, if yo uwatch Kim Possible, you would even get to compare some of their cracks to the Disney cartoon.
As for characters:
Dr Horrible… A very contradicting character. A mad scientist who has been working so hard to be accepted into the Evil League of Evils, yet, he could hardly speak about the way he feels when he faces his laundry buddy, Penny.
Penny… A humanitarian campaigning for homeless shelters in their community. The girl that Dr. Horrible has been crushing on and became Capt. Hammer’s girl.
Capt. Hammer… Dr. Horrible’s nemesis. He is an egocentric super hero who sought for a shrink after he experienced what he thinks to be “pain”.
The songs are very catchy. I have been singing bits and pieces ever since. Brand New Day has become one of my instant favorites. Even more so, that now, after a week, the songs still linger in my head… I have been wanting to wring someone’s neck.
It’s a brand new day
Yeah, the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you’re gonna die
Go ahead and laugh
Yeah I’m a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye…
It’s a brand new day!!!
This has been published late… nonetheless, to the very gracious host and his waifu… Thanks for having us there to share your celebration.
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It is December once again and there seems to be something in the air that makes it bittersweet. No, don’t ask me what it is because I can not put my finger on whatever it exactly is.
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Staring blankly at the teacher does not help you in any way. You hear people being called for the daily recits and the next thing you know, bam! you are next to answer. I really don’t know why I always end up blanking out whenever my prof asks me to answer. I study, that’s one thing for sure. but it seems that the problem now with me is the retention of the information I cram into my head.
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Funny how things work in this crazy world called "life". We learn our lessons when we are at the end of our line, sucking in every last bit of bitter detail that we have to face in order for us to survive.
To some, it is but trivial without them knowing how much it meant to you. That’s how the world works. That’s how things are.
I have been complaining that my world has been losing its color and for years, I have been allowing the gray cloud to hover over me. There’s one thing I forgot… I can not control things that are not in me.
I lost a good friend all because I thought differently. I didn’t mean to make the person uncomfortable to the point that seems to have made that person jump like a cat stepped on by the tail every time I am in the area where we’d accidentally be at the same time… though it may just be online.
I know I can not demand for closure because what I had with the person was never one for me to have the right to… but I got burned and it still stings.
I tried to forget, but it is still there. You have already moved on. I see you have found someone. For what it’s worth, I am really happy for you.
Not that I still want things how they were back then, I just hope you would stop and say hi, even for the last time, that I can help myself to say with full conviction that I will let go of all my delusions and hapless illusions of what I thought was that never had been.
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An essay that a friend once forwarded to me and found its way back… Read on…
Meantime Girl…..
What’s a Meantime Girl?
She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to a party, or to go out with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”.
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Just when you thought you were actually free of the "happy valentine" bug, someone sends you an SMS greeting you a be-late-d "Happy Valentines’ Day!" with that fuzzy little bear that makes your hair stand on one end because of its being "uber lovey-dovey!" 
Don’t get me wrong… I like cute stuff… those little cute and cuddly little things to a certain degree… I have always loved teddy bears ever since I was a kid of 2. Just don’t give me those fuzzy-wuzzy pink ones coz I’ll throw it right back at you.
I may have sent some valentines’ day greetings to some friends… but, really… what does it get you to? besides Christmas, it is another one of those overly-commercialized days of the year… Good thing trick or treating is not as popular here in the Philippines than it is in the US, but it sure is catching up. I could see more and more little critters dressed as dead people if not fairies in the malls, yelling "trick or treat" to these shops encouraging the fiasco leaving the moms carrying their tired little ones with a basketful of candies and other kinds of sweets every year… and sometimes, the moms are the ones collecting their kid’s little loots! Hah!
Is it a crime to feel "unromantic" in the so-called "most romantic day of the year"? I just don’t get it… I tried to get into the "feel" of things… but it just doesn’t seem to make me feel any better. Leaves me even more confused.
I let the day pass… if someone starts talking about how romantic they feel and get all giggly about it… fine, that’s their prerogative… I just start not liking it when some giggly girlie-loo would start telling me to go out with them because there is some kind of magic in the air.
Can’t they just leave me be?  I have my own idea of spending Valentines’ Day… or Night, for that matter… and that’s to be with my pillows and sheets.
There’s no way that I would want to be in a crowded place where you could practically get to exchange faces with your neighbor at the escalator whether you’d be meeting your date or you’re simply passing through the mall, as you would, from work everyday.
I guess it’s just how it is and every year, I get to be in this state throughout the week…
On the up-side, though, you could always have this same lame excuse to tell someone some really nice things and those overly sweet stuff that turns them and even yourself diabetic.
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I can not remember how I ended up being an admin for a certain discussion board… I don’t even know what it actually takes to be one! As time went by, there had been three different types of people whom I love so much to hate…
People go to forumboards to share and discuss ideas… some would just want to read about other people’s opinions… and there are also those who seem to want to deliberately cause trouble…
 Flame baiters. These people, I love to char. As forumboard staff, you would want to keep your boards as orderly as possible. Open discussions with friendly bantering but never to walk on the side of heated discussions, that you would basically feel your eyes burning just by reading their posts. They cause other people to feel that heartburn they love so much to miss.
Spammers. I want to fry them and see them crispy golden brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah… they add to the number of posts and are practically participating but their remarks are basically off-topic and out of the discussion realms!
Lurkers. These people just want to read. Sometimes you don’t know why they even signed up if they don’t want to participate in the discussions. eventually, some of them do post, but then, most of them just don’t.
My friend calls me admin praning for being paranoid over little things and actually being so damn finicky over tiny details and seeing some things that may possibly be another harmless remark as i go blowing it off proportions because of its quiet dangers, or so it seems.
I go home, I rant about the baords and I login to check those people I have placed an X-mark on for some time… but do I really hate them?
……
Naaahhh… they put more color to the discussion and they put more reason for you to do your job as the board’s admin. How ever I got to be the admin of our baords, I may not remmber exactly but I sure am thankful for the chance that they gave me.
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Posted by: meekai in Models
 Pictures can never completely show how great it has been to be a part of that Scale Model Exhibit. More than 150 scale models graced the display cases that were carefully arranged in the area designated for the event… an event where Trumpeter Models will be showcased and shown off to the public… endorsed by the organizationthat has been in the country since 1968…
The scale model organization that has become the home of the best scale modellers in the Philippines…
 IPMS Philippines-Bert Anido
Amidst the "ooohs" and the "aaahs" of the visitors and the "xie xie ni" of the sponsors, there had actually been some heart warming moments during that event.
 A little boy, excitedly saying, "I saw your name written somewhere in that write-up, Pa!" can be heard by those people around them. The father went to the direction where the kid was pointing to… Sure enough, he saw a name…  not exactly his, but his grandfather’s… Brig-Gen (then Lt. Colonel) Benito N. Ebuen Sr… The airman who flew PAF P-51 Mustang"Shark of Zambales"whose markings appear at the model made by Opoy "Baker" Gaw and Ian "Assimilator"  Borja.
A serviceman in the American Navy dropped by. Seeing the Nimitz, he started looking forthe person who modeled it… The reason? He wanted  another done for himself along with a scale model of the Enterprise. With a little tear in his eyes, he stated that he served on board the vessel and his dad was commissioned in the Enterprise.
The Aquino brothers, Brig-Gen (ret) Florendo "Flutz" Aquino (left) and vBrig-Gen (ret) Ting "Ramrod" Aquino (middle) were there. Seen in this picture at the right was when they were inspecting the 1/24 Cutaway Shark of Zambales.
Preparation took some time. Trumpeter sent a testshot kit to be built and included in the exhibit. That was the Condor. One big and pretty baby that is about a couple of feet wide from wing tip to wing tip. A few weeks later, another testshot kit was sent through Accurate Model Works…. A Corsair… The same drill.. . It has to be finished for the exhibit. Members started getting busy. These kits are just  about to go out in the market. They were sent to the club for a build review. (Click here for the article in the webbie)
Two months prior to the event: Pledges come a plenty, but tables still need to be filled. It has actually been a routine in the club to have Saturday builds in the University of the Philippines’ Fine Arts Workshop. Thanks to Mel Silvestre… The club’s guru of scratchbuilding. He was the main man for the Condor build review. The Event was drawing near and only 80 kits have been committed to be included in the Exhibit… Everybody feels it’s not enough…
The Saturdays in UP started gaining more people… More kits, too. I believe one of those who have the most number of entries was Jhun Bibat. He enlisted more than 5 kits for the event. Only two weeks  prior and 120 kits have been committed from members and non members alike. Scary. Twenty kits off the target. Volunteers to man the event started pouring in. Crunch time. The event is on its way and it will push thru whether the target is reached or not.
 People started cramming. Saturdays actually became more fun. It was also during that period that some members of Mechapinoy decided to join the Saturday builds. That was really fun for me… both my orgs in one venue. They were busy building their kits, too… There were exchange of ideas… Discussion of techniques, sharing of tips and tricks and lots of what-nots… which can work in which genre… I was very happy. (Click here for the MP forumboards)
Finally, the First day of the event came…. Aug. 15, 2005, SM Megamall Building B, The Cyberzone…. I arrived after work. I looked around…. The Condor was not there. The Corsair was not there, and there were empty tables. That made me weak in the  knees. I started asking…. I found out that the Condor was on its way, the Corsair was having its final touch up and the empty tables were for more test shots and the new products that the visitors from Trumpeter are gonna be bringing along with them…. adding to the good news, the exhibit had more than 150 kits breaching the target by more than ten kits… and that is for one brand  alone. The event itself brought the club to its new heights…. proving once more that IPMS Philippines Bert Anido is indeed the Home of the Best Scale Modelers in the Philippines.
(Click here for the TrumpEx Article in the IPMS Phils BA Webbie)
Next stop, the Nationals…
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